Undoubtedly, many have by now read Noah
Feldman’s article in last weeks Sunday New York Times
Magazine, “Orthodox Paradox.” Feldman, a Harvard
law professor, movingly describes how his marrying out of
the Jewish faith caused him to lose recognition in the Orthodox
Jewish school which shaped his life.
He elaborates about the rifts and tensions that exist between faith and secular
life. The essential theme of Feldman’s article is the great struggle and difficulty
inherent in reconciling the “vastly disparate values of tradition and modernity
— of Slobodka and St. Paul’s.”
I read Noah Feldman’s article with special interest. After all, my life work
is dedicated to bridging the two worlds of the spiritual and the secular.
Wherever I turn I try to find ways to demonstrate how Torah is a blueprint
for life. When deciphered properly and personalized, it offers us a sophisticated
and comprehensive guide in every aspect of our lives – private and public,
at home, work and play, addressing our emotional and psychological needs.
I therefore was looking to Feldman’s article for some fresh insight, perhaps
a new way to speak to people who are struggling with the conflicts of faith
and modernity.
But alas, this article simply repeats and confirms the same old stereotypes
that have captured the minds of the last few generations. Orthodoxy is simply
unable to contain and respect modernity, so vividly expressed in the modern
equivalent of “excommunication” of their own alumni, Noah Feldman, due to
his “intermarriage” with a Korean American woman.
But even more intriguing to me were the responses to Feldman’s article, or
rather the lack of response.
From condemnations to commendations, from rebuttal to compassion, different
writers, pundits and bloggers have been weighing in each with their passionate
opinion. Not surprising: Jews are known to be fierce “opinionaters” – a tradition
that goes back to Talmudic, and even Biblical times, and surely earlier. Especially
a hot button item like intermarriage, and Orthodox standards in a modern world,
is sure to evoke strong responses from all corners of the Jewish community
and outside of it.
Glaringly missing, however, from all the discussions is the search for a
solution of the problem: Can we actually integrate Torah into our modern lives?
Or will the two remain forever at odds with each other? And what about intermarriage:
Why are 50% of Jewish people marrying out of their faith? How do we solve
the problem at its root? Some (not I) even ask: Is it a problem, or simply
a modern reality that we must learn to accept?
Everyone has a position, from one extreme to the next, but no one offers
a solution.
Let’s begin with Feldman’s actual argument. Essentially, he contends that
despite all the attempts of modern Orthodox Judaism to reconcile and negotiate
the two worlds, there remains a fundamental dissonance and compartmentalization.
No where is this more pronounced then when it comes to marriage – the defining
factor in Jewish commitment, and for Feldman, his “most personal aspect of
coming to terms with modern Orthodoxy.”
Feldman explains that the Orthodox must resist acceptance of intermarriage
and ostracize those that transgress. The way he sees it, based on his “intimate
understanding” gained in his yeshiva education, is because “a religious community
that seeks to preserve its traditional structure must maintain its boundaries.”
“Although Jews of many denominations are uncomfortable with marriage between
Jews and people of other religions, modern Orthodox condemnation is especially
definitive. The reason for the resistance to such marriages derives from Jewish
law but also from the challenge of defining the borders of the modern Orthodox
community in the liberal modern state… When combined with the traditional
Jewish concern for continuity and self-preservation — itself only intensified
by the memory of the Holocaust — marriage becomes the sine qua non of social
membership in the modern Orthodox community… For those who choose to marry
spouses of another faith, maintaining membership would become all but impossible.”
Clearly, Modern Orthodoxy (in the version of the Maimonides School of Brookline,
Mass.), despite its progressive attempt “to try to be at once a Lithuanian
yeshiva and a New England prep school,” following a “rigorous secular curriculum
alongside traditional Talmud and Bible study,” ultimately fails in reconciling
these two disparate worlds.
Reactions to Feldman’s position vary.
On one hand Feldman’s article was, predictably, attacked by the religious
Orthodox whom he takes on in his article. In their typical untrusting fashion,
the religious critics, instead of addressing the issues at hand, dismiss his
arguments as another attempt to break away from Torah tradition that has endured
over the centuries. As is so often and so sad the case, many religious simply
invalidate and ostracize an individual like Feldman, writing him off, without
any interest in engaging him. And the more orthodox, the less tolerant.
Where will this approach lead? To completely and tragically cutting off the
majority of the Jewish people… Is this what the Torah advocates? Is this consistent
with the cardinal mitzvah love thy fellow as thyself? Can any one person be
complete if other “limbs” of the collective organism are ailing?
On the other extreme, we have the defenders of Feldman, and some who go even
farther than him with their critique of Orthodoxy as archaic, close-minded,
unwilling to embrace the modern age of free inquiry. Intermarriage, in particular,
is seen by them as a throwback to primitive beliefs of exclusivity and self-protection,
unnecessary in an evolved world like ours. Essentially, this extreme renders
tradition obsolete, a position that Feldman would reject.
Finally, we have – in between the extremes – the reconciliators, who advocate
acceptance of those that may have intermarried or otherwise wandered outside
of the “traditional” Jewish fold. Author Shmuley Boteach, for instance, argues
that the conventional method of rejecting those that married out of the faith,
has not worked. Treating them as traitors to the Jewish cause as a deterrent
has not prevented intermarriage reaching 50% of the Jewish population.
But let’s take this argument to its logical conclusion. What will result
from accepting these Jews? Millions of non-ostracized intermarried Jews, who
may or may not embrace Judaism. Will this stem the tide of assimilation
and intermarriage?
Besides, how does one make a strong statement about a religious standard
– as in intermarriage – if we embrace everyone equally? How do we show love
and acceptance without compromising the integrity of our standards?
I’m not suggesting alienating anyone; but simply that a “loving” solution
alone is quite lame. And above all, it only addresses the symptoms, not the
roots.
Without addressing the education or re-education of Jews, nothing will really
stem the tide of assimilation.
So we seem to be stuck. Without finding the core issue, we have either Feldman
experiencing alienation from his own roots, others advocating total acceptance
of Feldman and his choices, or one step further – Rabbis condoning and even
performing intermarriages.
We have either the ultra-orthodox intolerance, astringent and unable to deal
with a Jew that makes choices outside of the system. Or the other extreme
– those calling for abolishing these “ancient laws” based on “primitive” notions
of discrimination and exclusivity.
In between, we have those searching for reconciliation, and desperately trying
to find a middle ground. Some argue that we can’t accept intermarriage, but
once someone does marry outside of his or her faith, we must embrace them,
and even try to convert the gentile party to Judaism. Has anyone considered
that to be a form of elitism and exclusivity? Why are you imposing your religion
(Judaism) on a gentile spouse? Would you like if someone imposed their religion
(say Christianity) on you? Isn’t it fair to allow the gentile spouse to make
that decision for themselves?
Others attempt reconciliation through interfaith dialogues, workshops and
therapy. Yet another form of attempted reconciliation is ignoring the whole
thing.
Even worse is the fact that each “philosophy” doesn’t stand on its own feet;
it is responding to the other arguments – in one vicious, unending cycle:
The ultra-orthodox become more inflexible in response to liberal permissiveness.
The anti-religious become more radical, and even fanatic, in reaction to religious
fanaticism. And the centrist reconciliators, many thinking people, are repulsed
by the religious extremism of the mindless Orthodox, who ostracize those they
don’t agree with, lacking the knowledge of how to love without compromising
Torah. They oppose the Orthodox ”blind” rejection of Jews that are “not in
your club.” But in turn, they go to the other extreme, some more than others,
and confuse the standards and blur the boundaries between.
What is most disturbing is the polarization and that no one seems to notice
that we need another option.
What is one to do? What does the Torah advocate?
The answer lies in a fascinating approach that introduces the soul of Judaism.
As long as Judaism remains a body of law, a system of do’s and dont’s, divorced
of its inner spirit, we will never be able to integrate it into modern life.
To be continued… Part
II – next week.