07.27.07   Vaetchanan: Orthodoxy Vs. The World

 
Undoubtedly, many have by now read Noah Feldman’s article in last weeks Sunday New York Times Magazine, “Orthodox Paradox.” Feldman, a Harvard law professor, movingly describes how his marrying out of the Jewish faith caused him to lose recognition in the Orthodox Jewish school which shaped his life.

He elaborates about the rifts and tensions that exist between faith and secular life. The essential theme of Feldman’s article is the great struggle and difficulty inherent in reconciling the “vastly disparate values of tradition and modernity — of Slobodka and St. Paul’s.”

I read Noah Feldman’s article with special interest. After all, my life work is dedicated to bridging the two worlds of the spiritual and the secular. Wherever I turn I try to find ways to demonstrate how Torah is a blueprint for life. When deciphered properly and personalized, it offers us a sophisticated and comprehensive guide in every aspect of our lives – private and public, at home, work and play, addressing our emotional and psychological needs.

I therefore was looking to Feldman’s article for some fresh insight, perhaps a new way to speak to people who are struggling with the conflicts of faith and modernity.

But alas, this article simply repeats and confirms the same old stereotypes that have captured the minds of the last few generations. Orthodoxy is simply unable to contain and respect modernity, so vividly expressed in the modern equivalent of “excommunication” of their own alumni, Noah Feldman, due to his “intermarriage” with a Korean American woman.

But even more intriguing to me were the responses to Feldman’s article, or rather the lack of response.

From condemnations to commendations, from rebuttal to compassion, different writers, pundits and bloggers have been weighing in each with their passionate opinion. Not surprising: Jews are known to be fierce “opinionaters” – a tradition that goes back to Talmudic, and even Biblical times, and surely earlier. Especially a hot button item like intermarriage, and Orthodox standards in a modern world, is sure to evoke strong responses from all corners of the Jewish community and outside of it.

Glaringly missing, however, from all the discussions is the search for a solution of the problem: Can we actually integrate Torah into our modern lives? Or will the two remain forever at odds with each other? And what about intermarriage: Why are 50% of Jewish people marrying out of their faith? How do we solve the problem at its root? Some (not I) even ask: Is it a problem, or simply a modern reality that we must learn to accept?

Everyone has a position, from one extreme to the next, but no one offers a solution.

Let’s begin with Feldman’s actual argument. Essentially, he contends that despite all the attempts of modern Orthodox Judaism to reconcile and negotiate the two worlds, there remains a fundamental dissonance and compartmentalization. No where is this more pronounced then when it comes to marriage – the defining factor in Jewish commitment, and for Feldman, his “most personal aspect of coming to terms with modern Orthodoxy.”

Feldman explains that the Orthodox must resist acceptance of intermarriage and ostracize those that transgress. The way he sees it, based on his “intimate understanding” gained in his yeshiva education, is because “a religious community that seeks to preserve its traditional structure must maintain its boundaries.” “Although Jews of many denominations are uncomfortable with marriage between Jews and people of other religions, modern Orthodox condemnation is especially definitive. The reason for the resistance to such marriages derives from Jewish law but also from the challenge of defining the borders of the modern Orthodox community in the liberal modern state… When combined with the traditional Jewish concern for continuity and self-preservation — itself only intensified by the memory of the Holocaust — marriage becomes the sine qua non of social membership in the modern Orthodox community… For those who choose to marry spouses of another faith, maintaining membership would become all but impossible.”

Clearly, Modern Orthodoxy (in the version of the Maimonides School of Brookline, Mass.), despite its progressive attempt “to try to be at once a Lithuanian yeshiva and a New England prep school,” following a “rigorous secular curriculum alongside traditional Talmud and Bible study,” ultimately fails in reconciling these two disparate worlds.

Reactions to Feldman’s position vary.

On one hand Feldman’s article was, predictably, attacked by the religious Orthodox whom he takes on in his article. In their typical untrusting fashion, the religious critics, instead of addressing the issues at hand, dismiss his arguments as another attempt to break away from Torah tradition that has endured over the centuries. As is so often and so sad the case, many religious simply invalidate and ostracize an individual like Feldman, writing him off, without any interest in engaging him. And the more orthodox, the less tolerant.

Where will this approach lead? To completely and tragically cutting off the majority of the Jewish people… Is this what the Torah advocates? Is this consistent with the cardinal mitzvah love thy fellow as thyself? Can any one person be complete if other “limbs” of the collective organism are ailing?

On the other extreme, we have the defenders of Feldman, and some who go even farther than him with their critique of Orthodoxy as archaic, close-minded, unwilling to embrace the modern age of free inquiry. Intermarriage, in particular, is seen by them as a throwback to primitive beliefs of exclusivity and self-protection, unnecessary in an evolved world like ours. Essentially, this extreme renders tradition obsolete, a position that Feldman would reject.

Finally, we have – in between the extremes – the reconciliators, who advocate acceptance of those that may have intermarried or otherwise wandered outside of the “traditional” Jewish fold. Author Shmuley Boteach, for instance, argues that the conventional method of rejecting those that married out of the faith, has not worked. Treating them as traitors to the Jewish cause as a deterrent has not prevented intermarriage reaching 50% of the Jewish population.

But let’s take this argument to its logical conclusion. What will result from accepting these Jews? Millions of non-ostracized intermarried Jews, who may or may not embrace Judaism. Will this stem the tide of assimilation and intermarriage?

Besides, how does one make a strong statement about a religious standard – as in intermarriage – if we embrace everyone equally? How do we show love and acceptance without compromising the integrity of our standards?

I’m not suggesting alienating anyone; but simply that a “loving” solution alone is quite lame. And above all, it only addresses the symptoms, not the roots.

Without addressing the education or re-education of Jews, nothing will really stem the tide of assimilation.

So we seem to be stuck. Without finding the core issue, we have either Feldman experiencing alienation from his own roots, others advocating total acceptance of Feldman and his choices, or one step further – Rabbis condoning and even performing intermarriages.

We have either the ultra-orthodox intolerance, astringent and unable to deal with a Jew that makes choices outside of the system. Or the other extreme – those calling for abolishing these “ancient laws” based on “primitive” notions of discrimination and exclusivity.

In between, we have those searching for reconciliation, and desperately trying to find a middle ground. Some argue that we can’t accept intermarriage, but once someone does marry outside of his or her faith, we must embrace them, and even try to convert the gentile party to Judaism. Has anyone considered that to be a form of elitism and exclusivity? Why are you imposing your religion (Judaism) on a gentile spouse? Would you like if someone imposed their religion (say Christianity) on you? Isn’t it fair to allow the gentile spouse to make that decision for themselves?

Others attempt reconciliation through interfaith dialogues, workshops and therapy. Yet another form of attempted reconciliation is ignoring the whole thing.

Even worse is the fact that each “philosophy” doesn’t stand on its own feet; it is responding to the other arguments – in one vicious, unending cycle: The ultra-orthodox become more inflexible in response to liberal permissiveness. The anti-religious become more radical, and even fanatic, in reaction to religious fanaticism. And the centrist reconciliators, many thinking people, are repulsed by the religious extremism of the mindless Orthodox, who ostracize those they don’t agree with, lacking the knowledge of how to love without compromising Torah. They oppose the Orthodox ”blind” rejection of Jews that are “not in your club.” But in turn, they go to the other extreme, some more than others, and confuse the standards and blur the boundaries between.

What is most disturbing is the polarization and that no one seems to notice that we need another option.

What is one to do? What does the Torah advocate?

The answer lies in a fascinating approach that introduces the soul of Judaism. As long as Judaism remains a body of law, a system of do’s and dont’s, divorced of its inner spirit, we will never be able to integrate it into modern life.

To be continued… Part II – next week.




Vayechi: Babylon Unplugged
Shmot: Mysterious Man
Vaeirah: Four Steps to Freedom
Bo: The New Moon
Beshalach: Song
Yitro: Fireworks
Misphatim: Is Logic Logical?
Terumah: Menorah
Purim: Iraq Revisited
Ki Tissa: Suffering
Vayakhel Pekudei: Faith at Harvard
Vayikra: The Pure Ones
Passover: From Boredom To Freedom
PassoverII: Faith and Flesh
Shemini: Creeps
Tazria-Metzora: Greater Expectations
Acharei-Kedoshim: Drugs - Strange Fire
Emor: Think Different Part I
Behar Bechukosei: Think Different Part II
Bamidbar: One Heart
Shelach: Six-Day War
Korach: Telling the Story
Chukat: Gentleness
Balak: The Ultimate Stand
Pinchas: The Summer of Awakening
Matos-Masei: 1967: The Summer of Awakening Part II
Devorim: A Tzaddik Weeps
Vaetchanan: Orthodoxy Vs. The World
Eikev: Orthodoxy Vs. The World Part II
Reeh: The Kabbalah of Duality
Shoftim: A True Relationship
Ki Teitzei: I Am To My Beloved and My Beloved Is To Me
Ki Tovo: To You My Heart Speaks
Nitzavim-Vayeilech: What is the Calling of Our Time?
Yom Kippur: Your Inner Child
Sukkot: My Dear Child
Noach: My Child: Let Us Not Part
Lech Lecha: Ten Challenges
Vayeira: Where is Moshiach? In Sodom
Chayei Sarah: The First Jewish Mother
Toldot: My Child
Vayeitzei: Marriage: Destiny or Chance?
Vayishlach: A Mother's Tears
Vayeishev: Stuck
Chanukah: A Universal Holiday
Vayigash: The Three Brothers
Vayechi: Soul Profit
Shemot: Hovering Soul


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Visitor Comments
Catherine, 08/07/2007
I am very grateful for your article and the amazingly balanced view it presents. You say that "everyone has a position, from one extreme to another, but no one has a solution". I look forward to next week's installment as I have personal experiences to show that the Torah is, in fact, a blueprint for life and that connecting with one's soul opens the individual to joy and purpose, as well as the opportunity to open to seeing oneself - good and bad.

The article generated a strong reaction in me and I would like to share those thoughts, inadequate as they seem in light of your skills of thought and ability to articulate.

Your message "the Torah is a blueprint for life" has universal appeal and if it can reach more people, it will attract more people. So many need meaning in their lives and the simple elegance of your message provides a simple, Unifying message. We are so divisive as a group. How can we point a finger at others for being Anti-semitic when we ourselves are so divided and resentful of our differences?

I stood before the Wailing Wall last week and my 15 year old son said "this represents the end of hierarchy". You teach that we were all equal at Mt. Sinai, yet we have Rabbis who preach and dictate and judge. So much of the Rabbinate appraoch their platforms from a heirarchical and/or authoritarian perspective. If you create sheep and many wonder off and get "lost" is it the sheep's fault or the responsibility of the shepard? I have known many Jews alienated from Judaism, and in some cases from life, because of something their Rabbi said or did when they were teenagers. Is it time to either take responsibility for the actions of the flock or stop treating us like a flock? Maybe it is time for more listening. Are there others besides you willing to listen? How do they find each other?

You make information available and trust that G-d and the individual will decide what should be absorbed. As I encourage friends to join me Wednesdays for your class, I see how often they hesitate because of their preconceptions about Rabbis.

One thought I had reading your article is more alarming to me. I believe, and from my understanding of your teachings I believe you agree at some level, that our lives and experiences are a mirror for the lessons we are here to learn should we choose growth. We create from our internal views and thoughts some of our ownexperiences. As I read your analysis of the message of exclusivity and elitism regarding non-intermarriage for example I wonder how this affects us as Jews as a whole. I think about the recent Syrian Jewish community's stance on inter-marriage to protect its purity. Is this not another form of Arianism? If it is, do we in some ways encourage the Holocaust and its Arianism by this approach? Do we need to look at this as a group? If we advocate purity of race do we, in fact, invite others to make their own races pure from us? If there is any connection then your solution is all the more important.
Linda Haniford, 08/06/2007
What brought me into Judasim was the idea that even though we are all so different in terms of our life situation we are all part of the same picture. In addition I naturally felt more connected to it's principles rather than the culture that was surrounding me.

What ultimately got me to remain religious was a Rabbi who set a very good example in that he cared about the needs of others. And what continued to impress me was the dedication that I saw in other Rabbis/Rebbitzens that I've met since then.

If we focus on the good and not on the fault lines we will be able to maintain our Judaism.

--In terms of the gentleman who wrote the article it's a complicated topic because I've had such unusual encounters with different kinds of people that I must admit that contact with some types of people makes me feel like I'm losing my soul (it was Friday night and the person told me that he thought it's okay to walk to ball games on Shabbat and the other few times I can't explain). It's not that I'm intolerant but I can't explain why I have such a reaction to certain kinds of people including Atheists. The ones that scream at me or advertise that they plan on spreading their word are also not on my conversation list. I know of people who are very open and would invite him and I also know of many people who wouldn't invite me to their Shabbos table but whatever. If we want to see the good...we will..and if we don't...we'll be lost to the Jewish people - just a personal opinion.
Malkie Herson, 08/02/2007
Hi,

I enjoyed your article on intermarriage and particularly liked the way you expressed this idea, "Even worse is the fact that each “philosophy” doesn’t stand on its own feet; it is responding to the other arguments – in one vicious, unending cycle..."

When I read the original article and the various responses, I also noticed how the responses were besides the point, talking around the point.

We seem to have lost the ability (art?) for proactive responses; our default position seems to be on reactive mode. This applies to the way we practice Judaism to the way we handle debates (as your article points out).

Side details are ripped from their very essence and repackaged into their own decontextualized unit. Kind of like the six blind men and the elephant. Keeping the whole ‘elephant’ in mind, seems, well, too big to handle. And, when we are in the shiny tusk mode, we cannot even fathom that there is a fluffy tail, that is one and the same as the leathery skin, which is connected to the source of the fanning ears, which is the very same body as the shiny tusk.

The world is upside-down, outside-in. Inauthenticity parades as truth, while truth has almost disappeared. Sometimes, I imagine that the angels must be standing near G-d's throne laughing hysterically, as they watch us blindly grope around our world, thinking that we are in the 'know'. They good-naturedly poke fun at our Creator, asking Him whether his 'experiment' proved too difficult for his creations to overcome. Did He overshoot in his intentions? (Forgive the blasphemy.)

Judaism, as I see it, is all about being conscious. The mitzvos are all designed as mechanisms to help us avoid the pitfall of mindlessness. I stand in admiration of you and your attempts at helping people find the keys to authentic living.

REPLY:
Thank you for your very kind words. You touch upon fundamental issues that require, frankly, an un-education and then a re-education of distorted beliefs taught even in our most cherished yeshivos. Anyone reading the Rebbe's words, and Chassidus in general, without preconceived notions, will come away with a solid universal world outlook that is both all encompassing without compromising the integrity and boundaries of halacha. Sadly, however, most do not come with a clean slate, and more work has to be invested into eliminating stereotypes than to actually teach a healthy perspective.

Another factor that doesn't help the situation is a "disease" called (psychological) insecurity that has seeped into so many homes and families. An insecure parent will produce insecure children. And insecurity hides behind all types of masks -- arrogance, stubborness, partisanship, jealousy and other petty patterns all "justified" of course with a list of reasons (excuses) that "everybody else" is the problem. Secure people don't talk loshon hora and are not immersed in machlokos. They have no need to belittle others to become bigger themselves. (Maybe that's why Chassidus does not have a loshon hora crusade, because it addresses the roots, not just the symptoms).

Anyway, just some free association rambling evoked by your words.

I look forward to further dialogue.

Simon Jacobson
Gary Salvit, 07/31/2007
I was just now able to read your article,,as always-sharp,clear,to the point, emotionally touching and heartwarming. Love the to be continued---I am actually looking forward to next weeks, like one of these serial tv shows that keep you hooked!!!!! So continue to hook us with your wonderful gift.
Leon, 07/31/2007
I'm looking forward to next week's article on intermarriage. My own explanation to people is, Suppose you were Japanese, and thought that the Japanese system of values and ethics and its world view were very valuable and worth passing on to your children. Would you marry an American woman and hope that she had some grasp of it? Preposterous! How could Feldman have gone through a yeshiva and not get that!
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