Do not judge your fellow until you
have stood in his place.
Ethics of the Fathers, 2:4
Rabbi Israel Baal Shem Tov (the "Besht," founder
of the Chassidic movement) taught: "Your fellow is
your mirror. If your own face is clean, the image you perceive
will also be flawless. But should you look upon your fellow
man and see a blemish, it is your own imperfection that
you are encountering - you are being shown what it is that
you must correct within yourself."
We don't need to look to modern psychology for an interpretation
of the Besht's outlook. We can find it in another of his teachings,
the principle of "Particular Divine Providence" (hashgacha
pratit). Nothing is by chance, the Besht would always stress. Every
event in a person's life is predetermined and purposeful, and an integral
part of his divinely ordained mission in life. So a person never "chances"
upon anything: if he witnesses an event or phenomenon, there is a
reason for this experience, a reason that is closely tied to his own
path in life. It therefore follows that if divine providence causes
him to see his fellow's degradation, it is for a positive and constructive
end: to open his eyes to a failing of his own.
In The Eyes Of The Beholder
Ultimately, this is the only way a person can truly
recognize and deal with his own imperfections. "Love covers up
all sins,"[1] said the wisest
of men, and what greater love is there than the love of self?
A person's self-kinship blinds him to his own deficiencies.
Yet a negative trait or deed, so innocent and justifiable in himself,
appears in all its dreadfulness when discerned in others; here he
cannot but be appalled at the depths to which his fellow has sunk.
So the most effective way to open a person's eyes to
the negative in himself is to show him what is wrong with his fellow
and to then tell him that he, too, suffers from the same lack in one
form or another. If he truly wishes to improve himself, if he truly
searches his heart until he discovers what it is that the Almighty
was pointing out to him by causing him to see what he saw, his self-love
will no longer obscure what has been so glaringly presented to him
in the person of his fellow.
Still, one may ask: A person's mission in life involves
not only the development and perfection of his own self and character
but also his responsibility towards his fellow man. So why must he
conclude that he is being shown his fellow's failing as a message
concerning his own personal state? Perhaps he is being prompted
by divine providence to rebuke and rehabilitate his
fellow?
Particular Divine Providence
To answer this question, we must first take a closer
look at the principle of "Particular Divine Providence."
Particular divine providence means that not only is every event purposeful,
but also its every aspect and nuance.
For example, the same event can imply different things
to different observers, depending on how much they know about the
people involved and the events that led up to it. Divine providence
is particular in that it shows each observer precisely what is applicable
to him. So if you witness an event, it stands to reason that everything
about it, including the particular way in which it has affected you,
has a specific application to your life.
The same applies to a person's witnessing of a negative
act or behavior pattern on the part of his fellow. There are two distinct
elements here: a) the fact of his fellow's wrongdoing; b) his fellow's
guilt, culpability and decadence. The former does not necessarily
imply the latter: one may be aware of what his fellow has done wrong,
yet such knowledge may be accompanied with understanding, compassion
and vindication.
So when G-d makes a person aware of his fellow's deficiency
for the sole reason that he can do something about it, this is all
that person would perceive-the fact of his fellow's problem and what
he could do to resolve it. To also sense another's guilt and lowliness
is completely unnecessary; on the contrary, it only hinders his ability
to reach out to him in a loving and tolerant manner.
Thus, if he also senses his fellow's degradation, he
must conclude that this aspect of the experience also serves a purpose.
Divine providence has provided him with a mirror with which to discern
his own shortcomings.
The Three Sons of Noah
This idea is expressed in the Torah's account of Noah's
drunkenness and the response it evoked in his three children:
"Noah began to work the land, and he planted
a vineyard. He drank of the wine and became drunk, and lay exposed
in his tent.
Cham... saw the shame of their father, and told
his two brothers outside. Shem and Japheth took the garment, placed
it upon their shoulders, walked backwards, and covered the shame of
their father; their faces were backward, and the shame of their father
they did not see.[2]"
What is meant with the words "the shame of their
father they did not see"? Do we not already know this from the
(twice-repeated) fact that they turned "their faces backward"?
But the Torah wishes to stress that the different ways in which the
sons of Noah reacted to the knowledge that their father lay drunk
and exposed in his tent mirrored their own spiritual states.
Cham's own decadence was reflected in his vision of
his father's debasement. But when Shem and Japeth were made aware
of their father's state, their reaction lay solely in what they must
now do to correct the situation: not only did they avoid physical
sight of their father's degradation, they also did not perceive his
guilt or disgrace. The shame of their father, they simply did not
see.[3]
This is an excerpt from "Beyond the Letter of
the Law" by Yanki Tauber published by The Meaningful
Life Center.